www.emilyyee.com

‘Do you think that it’s ok for me to convert into Christian? I want to find peace’

‘Do you think that it’s ok to divorce your father? Will you resent me for doing it?’

Nowadays, Mum keep on throwing big questions like this to me. Thanks to mobile phone, she doesn’t even need to come over to see me to discuss about this. An SMS will do enough to convey her messages to me. Well, I do not know how my other siblings will answer. Yet, I always avoid giving any clear answer as I want her to make the decision herself and has no regret about it.

Well maybe that’s what I thought. I wonder if she’ll misunderstood all my answers as she’s pretty good in getting misunderstood.

As an adult, I realized that she is my mother and as an adult, I do understand a human’s right to do what they wish for as long as it is not wrong. But how do we judge the right from wrong? I wonder if I am doing it right. I would like to give as much freedom as possible to her. After all, she never talks about her feelings with us all these while.

We don’t really know how much Dad means to her and how much she means to Dad. Dad seems no longer cares if she wants a divorce. It’s been nearly half a year since I last saw him. We don’t really know how much Mum understand about being a Christian follower. We don’t know was she that unhappy to be a Buddhist. Is she going to feel better after converting?

It’s been months since our family got involved in the war. It makes our parents unhappy with each other. It makes us emotionally drained for quite a long time. Home is never a home for us anymore. I don’t go back anymore regardless of how much my Mum needed me. My Bro left home to work far away. My Sis left home for her studies.

I am not a little kid anymore nor do my siblings. As a kid, I always hope for my parents to be separated because they were having a weird long distance relationship for me. Dad works far away from home and will only come back once a month. Worse, when he was back, they ended up quarrelling more than loving. I wonder what kind of marriage they tend to keep? What’s their purpose of keeping the marriage? I wonder if when they are older and no longer working, they will need to stay at home and facing each other every single day. Could that be worse?

Mum constantly complains about Dad during all these years. She complains about how bad his family treated her. She is a very straightforward woman. If she’s not happy with you, then she’ll show it right to your face. Worse, still when she starts nagging, it could goes on for days or weeks over a subject ‘til she finds a new one. Sometimes she really did go overboard by adding so many lies to make her stories more believable. If I must say, Mum could be the best liar in the world.

While Dad really has a pleasant personality, he talks softly with you. I wonder why he can’t be that way with Mum. My Sis and I agreed on a matter that we hate to talk to our Dad. Not because that he will get angry and scold you in front of everyone like Mum will. He’ll do none of that. Instead, he’ll try to talk his soft way to get his point accepted by us without failing. If he had the chance to get a better education when he was younger, he must be a real good psychologist by now.

Who will you trust? A person with lots a lies yet a very honest emotion or a person without any lie yet a very fake emotion.

I browsed through my family history, my grandparents from both sides stopped sharing room when they were older. Now that my parents’ marriage doesn’t seem to work out any better, I wonder how’s mine would be. Would my parents be happier if they were richer? Are they regretting of getting married before making a pleasant living? Should I get a richer boyfriend so that I won’t have to go through the same things?

It scares me a lot that I asked a few breaks from my boyfriend over these few months. I know he gets frustrated as well, but he is still by my side. I am not getting any younger. Most of my high school friends got married. I got 3 wedding invitations for the coming March alone. Is that this easy? Getting married and live happily ever after? I told myself, isn’t it too early? Or maybe I am the only one that is not ready for that? I’d be 25 this May. Am I off-track? Already?

As we grew up and step into a real world, things aren’t getting any better. Instead, they are getting nastier. Nasty people are all around you, it is impossible to not to meet one. You’ll meet one when you are on your way to the mall. You’ll meet one in school. It is not weird at all when you meet one while you are shopping on eBay.

As for me, I love to spend my time on eBay to shop for my friends, family or even a stranger. It is a fun thing to do as I don’t have to spend a single penny and still get to shop like nobody’s business. From my previous post, I’ve written about how to buy safely on eBay. But sometimes you’ll meet some nasty sellers that tried to get on your nerves no matter how careful are you to choose a seller. Like me, the joy of shopping finally hits the bottom when I met this one seller last month.

The fun with shopping on eBay is, we get to bid for an item starting from $0.01. Yeah, no kidding, it’s just for one cent. If you are lucky enough, you’ll actually get to win an item at that one cent. I was bidding on an accessorized ladies watch from a China seller. I entered $10 as my maximum bid. The listing came with a shipping quote of $10 worldwide. Fair enough, I think to myself.

Few days later, I won the bid at $2.75. And I was ready to pay for the item right away. The seller was fast. Usually I pay before the seller can send me an invoice but this time the invoice came faster than I thought. So while I try to do the payment, I noticed seller quoted the shipping value wrongly. Instead of $10, he quoted $12.50 for the shipping.

Therefore, I sent him a message.

Hi, there.

I checked the listing and found out that the shipping is supposed to be USD10 instead of USD12.50. Please resend the invoice as I am unable to pay you with the actual shipping fee. Thank you.

This seller seems to be very good as he managed to reply my message right away. Here was how it reads. Well I hope you can understand him.

Hello!

Add USD2.5 for insured post. Because we lost many uninsured package in your country. so I ask our Malaysia buyer to pay the insurance fee. Please read the item description! We wrote that insurance is strongly recommended and paid for by the customer. We can't be responsible for uninsured packages. Do you like the insruance? Thanks!

And my reply was.

Hello, there.

The item I bought on behalf of a friend. She will only pay me $10 for the delivery. She said she does not need the insurance. Can you resend the invoice without the insurance?

The seller replied.

yes. but We can't be responsible for uninsured packages lost or broken. Do you agree? Thanks!

I am getting suspicious and wondering why I should agree on that ridiculous statement so I replied very careful.

As long as there is a proof of shipping and the item is being well-packaged condition before shipping, then it would be ok with me.

It seemed like the seller was rather pissed of with my reply.

if you don't pay the insurance fee, the postoffice will not give me a tracking number. Do you know? THanks!

Then, I couldn’t stop myself from lecturing the seller for a while. I sent him a message.

Hi, I will only pay for what I bid for plus the shipping as stated in your listing. Your description about insurance is highly recommended. Highly recommended is not a must. It is an option. You definitely have no right to change the invoice value by adding your own fee. If you want others to submit to the insured value, there is an option to add insurance in your listing, not by altering the invoice after the bidding closed.

As a seller, it is your responsible to make sure the item reaches the buyer. It is your risk to sell online. You do not threaten your buyer by saying not responsible if the item went lost or damage. If you don’t want the item to damage, provide a proper packaging.

I hope you can hold on to your business ethics. Changing the invoice value whenever you feel you like it after bidding ended is not ethical. If you are not willing to send the package at that shipping fee, don't list it at USD10. List is at USD15. That way, your buyer would be willingly to pay at the price they are aware of before bid.

No more reply from seller. So I clicked on Request Invoice button for a new invoice. After a week, still no sign from seller to send me a new invoice. So I decided to leave him a negative feedback.

Surprise, surprise, finally I get a reply.

hello! I am sorry! Could you please revise the negative feedback to 5 rating positive feedback? Then I will send you this watch in free. We're sorry for the inconvenience, your understanding will be appreciated. Thanks!

Of course, I ignored the reply and move on with my life. Why should I remove the feedback and lie about my satisfaction about this seller? You must be thinking that I am so stupid to ignore a very good deal, but please people. Stop being cheap and get yourself in trouble. He might be lying about the free watch and there is no way to complain to eBay if you don’t receive the watch as you never pay for it anyway. Worse, you can’t even change your feedback back to negative if you’ve revised it before. Ended up, I will get nothing but a lie. Yet he is happy with the positive 5 stars feedback and others who don’t know about this will keep on buying from him.

I guess he was not satisfied with the feedback and angered by my decision to decline the feedback revision. He then decided to file an unpaid case towards me. Thing was getting interesting from my point of view. Therefore, I’ve decided to play along.

Seller started the case with a statement,

Buyer Not Paid

I posted my explanation,

Seller changed the invoice by illegally add USD2.50. He claimed that it was for insurance. When I asked him to remove, he ask to promise him that he won't be responsible on lost or damage. I told seller that I would only pay for what I bid for. But I was unable to pay the value I am supposed to pay since the invoice is added with the extra charges. I asked seller to resend the invoice and he never did so.

According to eBay selling practice.

1. Sellers aren't allowed to charge a separate fee for insurance, although they still need to make sure their item arrives as described.

2. Sellers aren't allowed to say that they're not responsible for item delivery.

I was not bluffing, these rules are really exist on eBay. Check here.

Then seller replied.

hello! I am sorry! Could you please remove the negative feedback? Then I can send you a free watch and close this dispute. We're sorry for the inconvenience, your understanding will be appreciated. THanks!

Then I responded.

Hi, I am not asking for a free watch. I am asking for not being annoyed anymore. I won't be changing the feedback just to lie all your buyers. That serves as a reminder for you in future to apply a good business ethic. Do not change the invoice value as you wish. I am not trying to be harsh on you. I gave you 7 days to resend the actual invoice. Yet, you did not resend. You were being ignorant until I decided to leave a negative feedback. I only leave negative feedback as a last resort. Seller waits until some time and tries to file an unpaid case. Please ask yourself the following questions.

Why do you need to file an unpaid case?

Because I haven't pay. Yea, it's right!

Why didn't I pay?

Because you changed invoice value!

So is it my fault now?

Seller closed the case and gave me an unpaid strike. I was like what the f… I just knew that I have to do something and I reported seller to eBay for changing the invoice value and appeal to remove my unpaid strike. Thanks to eBay, my strike was being removed 5 minutes later. Don’t ask me how and why and I have no idea what happened to the seller. I am happy that I am able to get away from this annoying seller. I just had to do what I believe is true.

Nowadays, busy people like you and me(as if I am busy), prefer online shopping rather than doing it the traditional way of shopping. It saves your time, it saves you a lot of money, and most importantly, I’ll go straight to what I want without being tempted to buy other things that I did not plan from the first place.

All you need are just an eBay account and a PayPal account to do it. Why do I choose eBay? eBay is one of many other safe online shopping sites to purchase your items from. It is a shopping site with buyer and seller protection provided by eBay and PayPal.

You can purchase designer items on eBay, sometimes at very interesting deal. However, there are few steps for you to take in order to qualify you to get your buyer protections from eBay and PayPal.

Five Simple Steps On How To Purchase Safely On eBay

• Seller Rating Quantity

Check the seller's rating by clicking on the number beside the seller’s username. The higher it is, the better the seller sales performance.

• Seller Rating Quality

Besides quantity, quality does matter, check when is the latest feedback left for seller. Do pay attention to what kind of feedback left on seller's rating for the last thirty days. If there are few negative feedbacks, find out what the negative feedbacks were about. Well, sometimes sh*t does happen. As sellers, of course, there is no way for them to be able to keep all their buyers satisfy with them all the time. Sometimes people just complain over the small matters but do pay attention if anyone accused seller for selling fake items. It might be right. Well, no harm to do an extra prevention right?

• Item Description

After being satisfied with seller's past performance, now pay attention to seller item's description. A good seller will provide information on, item's color/size/brand and item's pictures from different view. A good seller will also provide care card(only apply to some brands), receipt, gift box and other information on item authenticity by request or automatically.

• Seller’s Terms And Conditions

Do pay attention on seller's terms and conditions. Some sellers might offer refund and some might not. Some might offer refund with certain conditions, such as within 7 days of purchase or any other issue. A good seller will also provide information on shipping information such as shipping fee and shipping duration to be expected. Do check if seller will ship to your country or not before hitting the buy button. If none is stated, you can always ask the seller for further information. A good seller will always reply within 24 hours.

• Accept PayPal

To qualify yourself on eBay buyer's protection, please choose seller who accept PayPal for payment.

Some might ask, since it is safe to purchase on eBay. Why should we bother to check the seller? I can say, it is always best to prevent better than to cure. It is time consuming when you have to go through all the dispute cases. Sometimes it is very depressing too. Moreover, if you are supposed to return the items that you purchased wrongly, it takes extra times and extra cost for shipping which would be bear by yourself. If you are dealing internationally, it will cost more time and more money.

Went through my stuffs the other day, I came across a letter which I received around two years ago. Well not really a letter, it has no envelope or stamp on it. It is just simply a break up note.

In romantic relationship, we curse the shit out of our exes by breaking up with us through the SMS, through the e-mail, through the Facebook messaging and even sometimes through the Post-It note. They use anything. Anything except meeting us face to face and telling us on our face that they are no longer interested in us. We call them jerk. And of course, they are.

While in friendship, when you are receiving a break up note, you can’t just call them a jerk. Well at least I can’t. They said, when it comes to friendship, it would never be any break up. If it would never be broken, then why was there a break up letter?

It says,

Don’t ask me why…
I am leaving the gang…
But we still are friends…
It just that I won’t be joining any gang activity anymore…
Maybe I am not suitable with the gang…
To avoid further problem, I think this maybe a good solution…
I’m not being negative…
Just that we are too different…
Maybe I should just fly away and search for my own heaven…
Take care! Bye!

Fifo(Not her real name, of course. I made it up.)

Next page,
It was written with all the thank notes for what she thinks we ever did for her. Followed by all the sorry notes based on what she thinks she ever did to us. Worse of all, she tried to stopped all the on going projects we did in-group for all subjects we took. It means totally to cut us off her life!

Have you ever have an official break up with a friend? I might be the first! Worse, it is my very first break up letter after all.

It was a group of six, Apple-Berry-Cocoa-Dildo-Emily-and-Fifo. Three boys, and three girls. And we used to do just everything together. I thought it was cool. I thought that I finally found my place, where I belong to.

Apple and Berry were couple. While, the other boys, Cocoa and Dildo and the other girls, Emily and Fifo are just friends. Apparently, Fifo had a HUGE crush on Cocoa that she couldn’t control herself by acting very weird towards us.

Dildo felt that he was being used by Fifo to keep her up to date about Cocoa just because he was staying with Cocoa. He was tired, too tired to transfer all her energy on Cocoa.

Emily couldn’t stand being dragged by Fifo all way long, when Fifo decided to sleep over for 2 weeks long. Emily was dragged to library 8 in the morning so that Fifo could get to sit together with Cocoa. And Emily was dragged till 3 in the morning so that Fifo can spent more time studying with Cocoa. Emily was physically and emotionally exhausted. Emily felt she needed back the privacy she once had.

Apple just could not stand dealing with Fifo when it comes to Cocoa. She was so obsessed and sometimes she was just over-thinking. But, who are we to judge a person who was in love?

Fifo was not wrong by falling in love but then three of us could not take it anymore and start talking to Cocoa. Cocoa decided to be a real man and try to sort things out with Fifo. He told that he was not into that kind of relationship with her and everything else! Everything else that we told him!

Feeling betrayed I supposed, the next thing I know was that she got us that break-up note. It did not feel good all. It did not feel good when someone is breaking up with you and it did not feel any better when someone is doing it through a note.

We did not have the chance to know what exactly was happening, what exactly was she thinking and we did not had the chance to at least talk it out if she thought it was our fault to talking behind her back. We were the bitches 'cause we talked behind her back. It was done and it was bad. Can we have the chance to explain why?

In the letter, she said, we are still friends but really? How many of us can be still friends with our exes? Well, not me. Call me childish, I never be still friends with any of my exes. And of course, we were all acted like strangers when we were in classes. It was painful to see. But this girl, I am honestly admire her for her gut to say goodbye to relationship that she thinks no longer suit her. Well, maybe she did found her happiness somewhere else.

That was my first break up letter. How about yours?

I came across this website while playing games on Facebook. An interesting theory. Can we actually change people's behaviour by making it fun to do? A point to ponder.

How to Make People to Take The Stairs Instead Of The Escalator?
How to Make People to Throw Rubbish into The Garbage Bin Instead on The Floor?
How many people would actually follow the advice when were told?
How many would do it for the sake of fun?




Isn't it fun, when everything we do is fun?

When I was still a kid, my mother used to tell everyone she knew, that I am the best among all her children. She used to tell me that I am the eldest and that I must be a good example for my younger siblings. She also told me to be quiet and just follow what the adults told me to do. That way I will always be her polite and nice girl that every parent would wish for.

So there I was, grew up quiet and good in my own sweet world. I was never a hardworking student but I will do very well in exams. That added up to my points, a polite, hardworking, smart and good child.

When I was thirteen, I was sent off to a boarding school where I was always different and where I was locked for five years of my life and only allowed to go home for a weekend once a month. Different as I am the only one of my kind. I was the only Chinese girl back then.

I didn't cry on the day, I registered to the school. I didn't cry when my mother did not stayed any longer right after the registration like any other parents to help their children to clean up their room or to check if I need anything else. I didn't cry when my parents left without a hug. All I got were 'Be nice!' and 'Study hard!' I didn't cry no matter how much I wanted to because a good child never cry.

And of course, what my parents would never found out, was the angelic helpful seniors turned out to be demonic monsters right after they left.

I was made to ask for permission just to enter my own room, every single time. I was forced to do their laundry weekly. I was forced to served them food from the dining hall, during lunch, dinner and supper. I was forced to sing, dance and act, sometimes with a pail, sometimes with the dustbin, sometimes with a tree as my lover. I was forced to wake up early at 4 a.m. to shower and get ready to school. And of course, if I wish to sleep, I need still to ask, 'Dear all my lovely sisters, can you please let me have my sleep now?' in a very gentle, sweet and cheerful voice. Till they said, 'Shut the fuck up and sleep!'

Having to know that my mother is a hairstylist, and the fact that I helped her since I was nine, I was then get a new job for myself, a private hairstylist for the seniors. It was not really a job. I was never got paid. I am being booked weekly to cut, to wash and set their hair for free. Sometimes I wonder, what was the point? They are Muslim, and they need not to show their hair in public. So what was the point?


Thinking back of the memories, I hope that I was taught the other away around. I hope that I was told that being quiet is not always good.

Sometimes, I wonder how my life would be if I was taught how to defend myself. If I was taught how to stand up for myself. If I was able to say 'No'. Would I be respected that way? Would they be thinking twice before trying to touch me? Would I change the world by being another way around? Would I be happier to protect myself? Will I be any different from the one I am today?

I nearly forgot that I promised to post this two months months ago. Most probably, me myself don't really want to remember about it either.

Sunday, 28th June 2009

Both previous posts I categorized them as 'Bitching' just to bitch about my housemates. Ops, ex-housemates now. But tonight I certainly feel this is a lesson that worth to be categorized in more serious category.

If you haven't read the previous posts, you might get confused.

#1 Dumbest Housemate I Ever Had
#2 Living In Fear

This morning I woke up and everything was fine. Sweet and stuff. Since I got the new LCD which the Retard promised to pay me on the 5th. I feel good 'cause finally I can online. Fine Sunday.

I heard someone went to open the front gate. I had a peek. It was the Retard. She went to the front neighbor's house. I had no idea what was she doing there. She seemed love to spend time a lot there talking to a 75 year old nice lady. After 15 minutes I heard her came back into the house.

I wash my face and try to relax. I saw Retard getting ready to go out, I asked, going out? She said no. She asked me, are you planning for shopping today? I said NO. I was paranoid of every question she asked. I am not planning to leave the house with her inside.

I saw her packed up some bags and put them in the living room. Without being asked she explained, it belongs to her friends. I said OK and then I left her alone and do my things.

The next minute I saw her getting ready to go out. Then I pretend to go out from my room. Without being asked, she explained, I got to work today. Can you do me a favor, she asked. I was hesitated to answer. And then she continued, these bags are belong to my friends who were staying overnight last weekend. They will come to get them later on. Can you just open the door and let them get the bags? And don't ever let them get into my room as I scare that they will steal our things. I said OK.

I cleaned the house when all of them not around. I just had to. They are too dirty to live with. Their laundry and dishes were there for a week. After a couple of hours, she came back. I saw her taking all the bags. I asked, where are your friends. She replied, I changed my mind. I am going to send them their bags. I saw a cab waiting outside.

Right before she left, Emily, I am going to pay you tonight. I was totally surprised. I was delighted for a moment. She said, she is going to call the landlord to come over tonight and settle the debt.

I couldn't wait to tell the landlord. I text-ed his daughter about the news. She was worried. She said they received no call from her to ask them to come tonight to settle the debt. However, she promised that they will come that night anyway. The clock was ticking, no sign of the Retard to come home.

My landlord came with his wife, his daughter and also his son. We had dinner together. The son insisted to change the door lock. So I agreed.

The Retard lied anyway. She did not came back. But her friends did. I was all alone in the house. Locked. Retard's friends came home. The lock was changed and one of the guy yelled for me to open the door. I told him to contact the landlord first. He got really angry and threatened to break my car. I had no choice but to call for cops.

Two officers came after 15 minutes, but I was still waiting for the landlord to come, so I didn't answer the door. It was a relief to see they finally reached. We had to explained everything to the officers. And the Retard's friends found out that Retard ran away with her stuffs. And they admit that they did not have a clue about it.

One of the girls told me that Retard had my phone. And that's makes me pretty sure that she did all the mess and eventually made me believed that she was the one who broke into my room, took my LCD monitor, my N73 and a hundred bucks. Real thieves wont just take 3 things when the house is furnished with televisions and all other stuffs, and a computer does come with a CPU too.

I was wondering why didn't the thieves took my CPU as well. I remembered she said, thank god that your CPU is still here, and by the way, even they got it, they can't sell it off right? You locked with password right? And then I just realized that she must be a computer noob. I was pretty sure that she tried to on the computer and found out that she couldn't get into my Windows. And that makes her think that, she can't sell it.

The landlord insisted the Retard's friends moved out that night itself as he did not acknowledged about anyone else staying in the house as he dealt with the Retard alone. So I was all alone and freaked out for another week that I couldn't even sleep well day or night until the landlord had the door repaired with different locks.

I knew I was being stereotype by making assumptions that it was her who stole my stuffs. I was just right to be suspicious. It seems like it was only me having my stuffs taken. I have no idea if her friends involved, I was just so please to have them gone from my life.

I knew I was right when I learned that Retard also scammed the 75 years old lady for a $200 and another neighbor $100. Both for very contradicted reasons.

Dear, Linda Hui Sin Yee, with the Malaysian identity card number 891019-05-5506, and a phone number +60122235208.

You still owed me the payment of my LCD monitor, my handphone and my money. I am no more expecting you to return my belongings, but I do hope one day, you'll have your karma.

It's just so sad to think about a girl which is just going to be 20 this October, is a well-trained con-woman. By the way, I reported the case. I gave all your details to the cops, and even if you ran away, you will still hold this bad record. Who knows one day when you do something bigger, this will definitely serve as a supporting case to your bad records.

With this, I rest my case. Thanks for reading.

Food We Consumed In Three Days....